It feels quite warming to see that someone actually really understands your pain to the very bottom!
The inner child is in each of us.
In the moments we lash out, fear abandonment, or shut down completely.
So often these moments with partners (feel) so intense in the present moment, because we are re-experiencing the trauma of our past. The moments we weren’t seen. Weren’t considered. Weren’t heard.
The moments when we felt unloved, helpless, or afraid.
Understanding your partners trauma is a love language.
It says, “I know you’ve experienced wounding. I know people have let you down. Betrayed your trust. Or left you to deal with emotions you weren’t capable of processing.” I can witness these parts of you + you can witness these parts of me.
Our ego sees our partners actions as entirely personal. It sees everything our partners do as a reflection of who we are, or who we are not. If we aren’t aware of the ego, we place demands. We punish. We control from a space of fear. We repeat the same cycle of behaviors to our partners that our parents did to us as children.
Our work is to become conscious of our own trauma, our own triggers, our own ego fears. This allows us to hold space for someone else’s.
Conscious relationships are a pathway to healing, where two partners aren’t looking to be happy or ‘completed.’
It’s a relationship practice of creating a safe space of evolution to be seen, heard, authentically expressed