Because trauma is so misunderstood in our culture, we have a society of adults who live in shame.
Shame over not understanding their (learned) behavior.
Of feeling “stuck” repeating their patterns that have roots in childhood. Mostly, beyond their awareness.
Trauma is not just “one time” catastrophic events. Trauma is any experience where a person cannot cope + the nervous system becomes dysregulated. Trauma will never be experienced the same way for each person which is why it cannot be measured on a scale. It cannot be labeled “big” or “little.”
How a child processes traumatic experience depends on their parents/adult figures ability to regulate their own emotional state. The adult child will cope in the similar way they were modeled to do so by a parent (through distraction, avoidance, substance use, acting out, toxic relationship dynamics,shutting down etc.)
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA IS ALSO:
- A parent denying your reality
- Not being seen or heard
- Having a parent who vicariously lives through their child
- Being told directly or indirecty you can’t or should experience certain emotion
- Having a parent who overcompensates for what they have unresolved in their own childhood
- Having a parent who’s focused on appearance (physical + outwards to society)
- Having a parent who can not regulate their own emotions